My cousin was noticing a recent rise in my depression at eating Indian food practially every day, so she decided to take me out to a new restaurant called Marrybrown in the ground floor of the Sree Bhavan hotel. One of the perks of Tambaram developing into a full-fledged city is that I can go out and actually eat non-Indian food. Unfortunately, when going to non-Indian restaurants, you begin to run the risk of falling into the same traps you experience in US restaurants.

By all estimations, Marrybrown appears to be an Indianised version of Kentucky Fried Chicken (there is Kentucky Fried Chicken in India, but Marrybrown seems to be an Indian variant of that, though it is a Malaysian company). The first thing you will notice when entering is the overpowering scent of fried chicken flesh. As a former meat eater, every once in a while, I do catch a smell of something like bacon or barbecue that makes me think whistfully of my days of eating meat. It’s rare that I’m actually disgusted by the smell of meat, but in this instance, I would argue that the smell was so putrid that I contemplated cancelling this excursion altogether.

Nevertheless, the opportunity to eat a veggie burger was so exciting, that I held my nose, ignored the mosquitoes in the dining hall and waited for the food to come. First, a paneer tikka wrap, which was little more than a tortilla wrapping a spicy blend of onions and peppers. The paneer itself was as non-existent as the accountability of Indian government officials to their people (my political statement of the day, sorry).

With the wrap, we ordered potato wedges (for my cousin) and masala bites, which appeared to be deep-fried bits of biryani. That was an interesting concept for me, and it worked on the occasion that there was a potato piece with the biryani. Otherwise, fried rice balls do nothing for me, no matter what people in the North End may insist upon.

Finally, we got the veggie burger, which came with a slice of lettuce, a slice of cheese, and some mayonnaise. Altogether, this was quite a delicious sandwich, as the burger was a spicy vegetable medly, and on its own would have competed quite well with other delicious veggie burgers that I have had. I would be concerned for those who are true vegetarians, as there was mayonnaise on top, making it not pure-veg.

One of the problems with trying to eat more American-style in India is that Indians really ruin the American dining experience. They think “Americans love meat”, so they pump noxious meat fumes throughout the dining area*. I think also Indian meat is quite disgusting. I’ve eaten chicken once in India, and I experienced a bout of cataclysmic diarrhea as a result. So, I’ve avoided meat in India ever since. This might explain why the meat smell is so disgusting anytime you enter one of the few non-veg restaurants in India.

Overall, the food in Marrybrown is pretty good, but it’s one of the types of restaurants that you never want to sit in – like most places in Chinatown. Fortunately, they do deliver, so maybe that would be a better idea. Also, you get tons of mosquitos at night, so it’s easiest just to stay at home and let some poor chump get bit trying to deliver your food. So, I’ll give Marrybrown three cheese sandwiches.

*They probably aren’t pumping it as much as not ventilating properly. This is likely due to their inability to meld frying meat with having air conditioning.