My uncle in New Bedford invited me down for the weekend as his sister-in-law’s family was coming down as well, and he thought it would be a good idea to flood New Bedford with Indians.  Ironically that was the way Moby Dick started…  Anyway, as most of the places we went to I’ve already been, we finally ended up trying a new place called the Candleworks in downtown New Bedford.  The Candleworks Restaurant was a former candle factory, and is a building that has been in New Bedford since the 1900’s (It’s funny that saying “early 20th century” doesn’t feel very long ago).

The Candleworks is a typical New Bedford restaurant, mostly surf and turf, with very limited vegetarian options.  The bread is a rubbery Italian style bread, and is served with olive oil/parmesan dipping sauce that provides some flavor.  I think we’ve reached the point as a society where we expect dipping sauce with bread, to the point that people spend less time making good bread, and more time on the dipping sauce.

I ordered as an appetizer the mushroom duxelles, which was stuffed mushroom caps filled with a mushroom puree, hazelnuts and garlic.  The mushrooms were pretty good, though they used the typical white mushrooms that have the least flavor, so I was pretty underwhelmed.

My uncle’s sister-in-law got the hummus plate (as the other vegetarian in the group), and that too was pretty average.  I sort of annoys me that people charge $7 for a plate of pureed chickpeas with fried pita chips.  Oh, I’m sorry, they put a few slices of roasted red peppers…

The salad that came with my entree.  A picture is worth a thousand words, but a thousand words would be indulgent to describe this salad.  It’s a salad.  Description done.

I ordered the penne alla vodka, which came with a medley of vegetables.  I can’t imagine the conversation involved in coming up with the menus:

“Hey, we forgot to make a vegetarian entree!”

“Crap!  What do vegetarians eat?”

“Bread?  Pasta?”

“Ok, let’s make a penne alla vodka!”

“Yeah, let’s throw in a bunch of vegetables too, because that’s what those people like!”

“But don’t you think that the vegetable flavors might convolute the vodka flavor?”

“Whatever, nobody’s gonna order that anyway.”

“Agreed!  Let’s go get drunk and tell racist jokes!”*

Despite the fact that I was full from all of those unsatisfying calories in this meal, my uncle conned me into ordering dessert, because he wanted to hang around for the song and dance.  Every friday night, there is a Neil Diamond impersonator (or possibly Neil Diamond) who sings songs for 70 year old men to dance with 50 year old women.  Apparently the Candleworks is a Wine Bar for older people (Wine Bars are places where 50 year old men pick up 30 year old women).  I ended up ordering a mint oreo cheesecake, which was thoroughly disappointing.  From my experience, no matter how awful the seafood or steakhouse is, the desert is usually pretty good.  But at Candleworks, even the dessert is pretty awful.

Overall, the food quality at Candleworks is pretty bad, and it is in a dank pit atmosphere.  I would only recommend coming here if you like singing sea shanties to very old people. But be warned, you may be player hating, so don’t talk to any couples.  There is very little for vegetarians, one pasta dish (penne alla vodka) that’s suitable for vegetarians, and a vegan penne with vegetables (no cream sauce, just vegetables).  Both of which are overcooked and terrible.  So, I’ll give Candleworks one and a half cheese sandwich, the only merit being the possibility of seeing the best Neil Diamond impersonator (Neil Diamond) ever.

*I’m not implying that the owners of Candleworks are racist.  I’m not even saying that chefs who don’t make vegetarian entrees are racist. I’m just saying that people who hate vegetarians are probably filled with so much hate that they MIGHT be racist too.  Vegetarians are filled with too much self-satisfaction to hate.

Candleworks Restaurant
72 N Water St # 4 
New Bedford, MA 02740-6264 
(508) 997-1294