I am a huge lover of pizza, and while I try to discern good pizza from bad pizza, I like pizza in all formats.  No matter how disgusting the pizza looks or is, I will likely consume it.  Even if I have already eaten a meal, if a pizza is placed in front of me, I will probably take a slice.  With all due respect to the late Johnny Cash, pizza is my cocaine.  That being said, California is known for having awful pizza.  I knew before I left Los Angeles that I had to have one stupid California pizza, and unfortunately Rocket Pizza in downtown Los Angeles was the location for me to get my dumb Californian pizza.

I should point out that Rocket Pizza is not too different from the standard college town pizza places that you’ll find strewn across America.  And their pizza options are fairly conservative for what I was expecting from a California pizza place.  However, their eponymous Rocket Pizza was probably the strangest option on the menu - onions, green peppers, mushrooms, feta, and eggs on pizza.  It was basically a breakfast pizza, but without any tomato sauce.  And sadly, that was the one thing I felt necessary for this pizza, as a little tanginess from the tomatoes would have tempered the excessive brackish flavor of the pizza.  The pizza was so salty, that I almost felt nauseous eating it.  And while I try to avoid salty foods in general, I can definitely handle excess salt.

Despite being excessively salty, I made the foolish decision of ordering the stupid Californian style pizza, so I can’t fault Rocket Pizza 100%.  The dough was actually pretty tasty, and I would imagine a normal pizza would be quite enjoyable here.  So, I will give Rocket Pizza a presumptuous three and a half cheese sandwiches.  As I presume it would be good, and the pizza is pretty reasonably priced for being LA.

Rocket Pizza
122 West 4th Street
Los Angeles, CA 90013 
(213) 687-4992

I told Aaron and Kara that I love Thai food, and they recommended checking out Thai City (or Little Thailand, I can’t remember what they called it).  Basically, it’s an open strip mall that has 7 or 8 Thai restaurants in it, and mandatory valet parking (even though parking is ample).  It definitely had fewer brothels than I expected for being a US-version of Thailand, but it was definitely interesting.  One trend I’ve noticed when it comes to Thai food is that Thai people really like confirming that the food is from Thailand and not anywhere else in southeast Asia (hence the many restaurant names with “Thai” in it: My Thai, Mai Thai, Planet Thai, Pad Thai, Taste of Thai, Thai City, just being a few…).  Aaron and Kara’s favorite place was called Ruen Pair, which from my experience is a good sign if the Thai restaurant doesn’t have to tell you its Thai (although I concede that Ruen Pair might mean “Thai Restaurant” in Thai for all I know)*.

We decided to order three dishes and eat them “family style”, though I convinced them into getting an appetizer first.  We ordered the vegetarian spring rolls, which were pretty standard fare.  I don’t really know why I would expect anything special, vegetarian spring rolls all taste the same.

The first of the three dishes we ordered was the pad thai with tofu (this was my idea).  I know pad thai has oyster sauce and sometimes fish stock, and is not truly vegetarian, but I like it so much.  I was told by the waitress that all of the dishes are truly vegetarian, and don’t have any fish in them.  The pad thai was really tasty, though like spring rolls, it’s pretty hard to screw up pad thai, except for making the noodles mushy, which they were not.

Next up, panang curry with soft tofu, which was a brown curry (with, I am told, no fish stock), which was nicely spicy, and one of my favorite dishes of the night.  Aaron and Kara insisted that we have it with soft tofu instead of fried tofu because we ordered fried tofu with the pad thai.  I just went along with their bizarre notion that you can’t have two dishes with fried tofu (I would have all dishes with fried tofu if I were in charge).  Regardless, the curry was very tasty, even with the soft tofu.

Finally, a dish that I have never tried before in my life.  Sauteed morning glory with garlic.  I had never had morning glory before, and I thought myself to be familiar with most types of vegetables.  This dish is very similar to broccoli rabe, and if broccoli rabe and spinach had a love child, this would be it.  Slightly bitter, with lots of garlic for flavor, I really enjoyed this dish, and paired with the panang curry, was very tasty.

I am a big Thai food fan (even places that put “Thai” in their names), and Ruen Pair might be one of my favorite places to get Thai food.  All the food is reasonably price (cheap by LA standards), though you do have to deal with the valet parking.  The restaurant itself is very strip-mally (as you would expect for a strip-mall), and that detracts somewhat from the atmosphere, but you definitely feel that this is the place that Thai people would eat at if they ate out Thai food. So, I’ll give it four and a half cheese sandwiches, only because its not made blatantly clear what does and does not have fish or other meat dishes in it (as you would expect for an Asian restaurant).

*It means “twin house” based upon my Google translate.

Ruen Pair
5257 Hollywood Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90027 
(323) 466-0153

Every once in a while, you get stranded in a place where there is nothing to eat but whatever is available.  I went to the LaBrea tarpits and the LA County Museum of Art (LACMA) to do the usual touristy things that you do there, and it was about 2 pm and I was famished.  However, in that area there’s not anything really good within walking distance.  I parked my car in the parking lot of the tarpits, and didn’t want to move it until I saw everything.  Thus, I was compelled to try the Plaza Café in the LACMA.

The Plaza Café is your typical cafeteria-style eatery, with salad bar, sandwiches, as well as pizzas.  I saw that they had a veggie burger, and I decided to order it (I had just had a pizza the night before).  Unfortunately for me, the veggie burger was your typical Boca burger style fake meat veggie burger, rather than a more interesting vegetable patty.  The burger was served with these fries that took me a while to realize were garlic fries, because the garlic settled all at the bottom.  That was a very nice touch that I did not expect from a museum cafeteria.  The veggie burger was nothing spectacular but it was enough to satiate my appetite so that I could continue to check out the Japanese pavilion (very cool if you can still check it out), and the rest of the modern art wing of the museum.  If you’re ever going to LACMA and the tarpits, try to allot 4-5 hours to see it all, and possibly bring a sandwich next time.

Overall, the food at the Plaza Café was pretty good, and there was a wide selection that catered to vegetarians as well as vegans (not too much for celiacs, but salad options were available).  Thus, I’ll give Plaza Café three and a half cheese sandwiches for being very vegetarian friendly and sufficiently edible for a location where I don’t actually want to get food, but might need it.

Plaza Café at the LACMA
5905 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90036 
(323) 857-6000

When I told my friends who live on the west coast that I was going to go to California, they warned me that the pizza on the west coast is awful.  I knew from previous experience that the ethos of west coast pizza is putting a bunch of ridiculous toppings (like baby corn, eggplant, and pickles) that make the pizzas awful.  However, Aaron and Kara suggested that we try Mozza2go, the takeaway version of Mozza, a restaurant founded by Nancy Silverton, Mario Batali and Joseph Bastianich.  With that combined celebrity, we knew we had no chance of getting at table at Mozza.  Thus, Mozza2go.

We decided to split the funghi misti with taleggio, fontina and thyme.  I am a big fan of mushrooms on pizza, and this took the mushroom pizza to the next level.  Normally, it’s plain old white button mushrooms, but this had a nice blend of white button, portobello, and possibly some shiitake mushrooms.  I would have preferred it with tomato sauce, but it was simple and very tasty without.  Apparently all the fuss over celebrity chefs is somewhat justified, and for you east coasters, I think you may finally have a decent place to get a pizza.

When Aaron and Kara first mentioned Mozza, they would talk about the butterscotch budino as if they were part of a cult and butterscotch budino was the Messiah.  Butterscotch pudding, salted caramel crystals, and the most deliciously light creme fraiche that I’ve ever had was so good that even I was converted to the holy church of Butterscotch Budino.

Mozza2go is a great option for those not prestigious enough to get a table at Mozza, and actually want to get good pizza in LA.  Admittedly, the price is quite steep ($17 for the personally sized fungi misti pizza), but if you really want a treat, it’s worth it.  There are plenty of interesting vegetarian options, using an assortment of ingredients and cheeses that you would never hear about outside of Italy.  Because of the exorbitantly high price and lack of vegan or gluten friendly options, I can’t give it five cheese sandwiches, but I will gladly give it four.  A very special treat when you’re out in LA (but only once in a blue moon, unless your sitcom just got syndicated).

Mozza2go
6610 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90038 
(323) 297-1130

When I told my vegan buddy Stromile that I was going to come out to LA for a trip, he said “We should grab some vegan food sometime.”  However, by the time that I did go out there, he was observing some religious holiday, so he couldn’t eat out (I won’t say what holiday, because it’ll date when I actually went to LA).  While he couldn’t eat with me, he did give me a load of good food recommendations.  Most of the recommendations were places that were vegetarian/vegan friendly.  He told me to check out Real Food Daily because it was a great place to celeb watch.  And I had been in LA for a few days and hadn’t seen a single celebrity (I’m not counting a guy that looked like Colin Farrell that drove past me in a vintage Land Rover).  So, Real Food Daily I went!

Real Food Daily is a vegan restaurant that is committed to the vegan lifestyle and promoting healthy eating, balance with nature, and all that other crap that you thought died out with the hippie. Don’t believe me? Instead of salt or pepper, they have “sesame seeds” for seasoning!  This is the kind of thing that makes people hate Californians.

The first thing I noticed when looking through the menu was that everything was ridiculously expensive.  I had such sticker shock that I didn’t have any idea what to order.  The waitress recommended the RFD burger and the Supreme Burrito with ranchero sauce on the side.  I am not a fan of tempeh (which the burger was made from), so I ordered the burrito with ranchero sauce on the side and taco mix included.  I think the burrito would have been tastier without the taco mix, as the taco mix was either tempeh or some dried-out meat substitute which tasted awful.  I was intrigued by the concept of cashew cheese, but I could barely taste it with all the other flavors that were happening.  The burrito overall was actually quite underwhelming, though filling.  I have had much tastier burritos that had no fake meat or fake cheese, and were much cheaper.

Even though I was pretty full from the burrito and all that sesame seed seasoning, the waitress conned me into getting German Chocolate Cake.  Admittedly it wasn’t a hard feat to accomplish, as it’s a lethal equation: Cute Waitress + My Gluttony = Ordering Cake.  Despite being $7, I found it very underwhelming.  One of my favorite parts of German Chocolate Cake is the coconut, and you would think that vegan recipes would include a lot of coconut, but I could barely taste it!  The cake was very heavy, and the cake to icing ratio was scant, which was disappointing, because that was what the waitress recommended also.

It is possible that the waitress’ recommendations for me were just terrible, but I did not really like the food at Real Food Daily.  I think it’s great and all to cater to vegans and emphasize local food, but I would argue that all that fake meat and processed fake cheese cannot be good for you.  If you’re going to be a vegan restaurant, I would much rather have simple natural food (like just vegetables, beans, etc.) with the odd tofu or seitan dish, rather than being completely fake food with the odd natural dish.  I suppose that is the great irony of Real Food Daily, it’s pretty fake, and not very good.  And the worst part of it all (not my bill for $22!) was that I didn’t even see a celebrity.  Next time I’ll just dine at the Ivy.  I’ll give RFD three cheese sandwiches, as they cater to vegans and celiacs, but serve substandard food.

Real Food Daily
414 North La Cienega Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90048 
(310) 289-9910