My mother came into town for her spring break, so I’ve been on a temporary hiatus from reviewing restaurants as I have been eating loads of home cooking (and home-cooked leftovers).  I thought I’d pay her back (as best I could with my meagre salary) and take her out someplace nice.  We ended up going to Upstairs in the Square in Harvard Square, which is one of the most convoluted restaurants I’ve ever been to (and that includes Vapiano).  There are multiple different dining rooms, each with a similar, yet slightly different menu.  We started on the first floor, and told the hostess we were mostly vegetarian, so she said “You should try the Supper Club menu, there is a vegetarian prix fixe.”  So, we decided to climb up to the top level which was decorated like an Alice in Wonderland tea party.

We actually ended up not ordering the vegetarian prix fixe which was a 5 or 7 course meal for 50-70 dollars (depending on how many dishes you wanted).  Funnily enough, most of the dishes on the prix fixe were available à la carte, so we decided to split a few entrées and appetizers.  The free bread (pain gratis, if you prefer pretense) was tasty despite being sourdough.  I don’t like sourdough, but I do like free bread, so I’ll say the bread made me morally conflicted.

Our waiter told us that he really liked us, so he had the chef make us some cheese gougères, which were basically fried cheese puffs.  They were quite fantastic, and we were really excited to get these for free.  That was until we saw our waiter say the exact same thing to another table.  That actually broke my heart almost as much as my last girlfriend, because you expect that from someone you are involved with emotionally, but not a waiter!  He even invited us to come visit him in Brazil during the World Cup in 2014!

After that, we tried to salvage the dining experience despite that overt betrayal.  Fortunately, my mother’s Jerusalem artichoke soup was phenomenal, with bits of sorrel and black trumpet dried mushrooms providing texture contrasts to the perfectly salted and flavoured soup.  I am not a big fan of soups, but even I was impressed by this soup.

I ordered the roasted beet salad with horseradish panna cotta, which was a phenomenal dish.  The sweetness of the beets paired with the sinus-clearing flavor of the horseradish was an intriguingly tasty pairing.  I could eat this all day.

Unfortunately, there was only one entree for the three vegetarians, which was mixed winter root vegetables with gnocchi.  Almost all other gnocchi dishes that I have ever had were very heavy and filling, this dish was magically light.  It was minimally salted, and the contrasting flavors of brussel sprouts, carrots, parsnips, mushrooms and chestnuts with pesto created a delightfully tasty broth remaining after the dish was finished.

At this point I was pretty full, but we had to order dessert.  My cousin ordered churros with chocolate syrup and cinnamon ice cream which was phenomenal.  Each item (churros, syrup, ice cream) would have been delicious on their own, but in combination were amazing.

I ordered the gateau noisette, a hazelnut mousse torte with hazelnut butter cream and hazelnut ice cream.  It was a little too hazelnutty for my liking, and I like hazelnut.  At this point I wished I had gotten the churros instead.  Apologies for the blurriness.  At this point I was approaching a diabetic coma.

My mother ordered the chocolate pecan turtles, which were chocolate covered pecans with a brown sugar caramel.  These were very tasty, but ludicrously sweet, to the point that I could only eat a half of one (okay, maybe one and a half) of the three turtles.

Upstairs in the Square in my opinion is a little pricey, but definitely worth going if you want to experience fine dining.  The service is very friendly (perhaps too friendly – don’t get emotionally attached to your waiter, they’ll break your heart).  I know I gave a glowing review of Rialto, but I would say that Upstairs in the Square is better than Rialto.  There are not a lot of vegan options (the gnocchi had egg, the soup and salad all had dairy), so for that I can’t give them five cheese sandwiches.  But I will give them four and a half cheese sandwiches.

Upstairs in the Square
91 Winthrop Street
Cambridge, MA 02138 
(617) 864-1933

If you’re looking for dating advice, don’t read this blog for dating advice.  That being said, it’s very difficult to try and impress women with fine dining.  On one hand, she might be amazed at your taste, but on the other, she might think you’re just a pretentious snob.  Anyway, I met this girl named Nykesha in New York who I was seeing a few weekends in a row (hanging out, doing fun early date stuff), and I felt it was time to amp up the situation and do a romantic meal together.  This girl works in Midtown Manhattan, and I thought it would be cool to take her to DB Bistro Moderne, a place I almost went to with Hakeem and Chamique that looked like a good date venue*.

Before we even ordered we were given parmesan breadsticks with pesto and olive tapenade.  The breadsticks were light and fresh-tasting, and went well with the pesto and olive tapenade.  As an amuse-bouche, it was quite appealing.

We both ordered soups, and I told her that I was not a big fan of soups, as a function of my wisdom teeth surgery 13 years ago.  Nykesha said I should get over that by now.  I ordered the butternut squash soup, which pretty much was the best soup I’ve ever had.  So, I did get over it, but not because of her, it just turned out that I’ve only been eating really crappy soups for years (sorry, Au Bon Pain!).

That being said, the butternut squash soup was the best soup I had until I tried the wild mushroom soup that Nykesha ordered!  There was such an interesting blend of flavors and textures in the soup, with little quasi-dried mushrooms providing a pop with every spoonful.  I am a big fan of mushrooms, and the bold flavor was really great, almost to the point where I tried to get her to switch (with no success).

Nykesha ordered the orecchiette pasta, which is supposed to have a venison ragout, but they were willing to make vegetarian by not putting in the venison.  They did put in the butternut squash, chestnuts, and tomatoes.  The pasta was obviously very fresh, but the flavor was quite mundane and likely needed the ragout to taste good.

I ordered the “parsley impression farfalle”, which was the only dedicated vegetarian option on the menu (that wasn’t an appetizer).  Basically it was campanelle pasta with mushrooms, tomatoes, truffles and parmesan.  While I was enjoying the food and I actually much preferred my pasta dish to Nykeshas, I was slowly thinking about how much I was spending on this meal (~$30 for each pasta dish!).

Nevertheless, a meal’s got to end in dessert.  We decided to split the hazelnut marjolaine gateaux, which was frangelico cream, milk chocolate coffee mousse, devils food cake, and coffee ice cream (and a bizarrely cool chocolate wheel).  The desserts at DB Bistro Moderne are definitely the highlight of any meal.  It’s cliche to say that the meal looked to good to eat, but it actually felt weird digging into such a beautifully organized dish.

Overall, Nykesha and I had a good time, despite us both realizing that this New York-Boston thing was not going to work.  She definitely had a better time, as I ended up paying for the whole thing (stupid chivalry…).  What food is available for vegetarians at DB Bistro Moderne is fantastic and very delicious.  However, the selection is very limited, and while I had a very tasty pasta dish, modifying a dish to make it vegetarian just does not work.  Furthermore, the staff didn’t seem too keen to try and invent something for us knowing that we were vegetarian and didn’t want to have the exact same meal experience.  So, I can’t give full credit to DB Bistro Moderne for that.  However, for a fancy dining restaurant, it is reasonably priced, and the food is amazing, so I’ll give it three and a half cheese sandwiches.  I could be assuaged to give it 5 if it catered to vegetarians with a couple more entrees.

*Before you ask, SHE wanted me to record the date by blog.  Women can be vain sometimes.

DB Bistro Moderne
55 West 44th Street
New York, NY 10036

It was my aunt/cousin’s birthday the other day, and my family all decided to take her out for dinner.  Fortunately, instead of the usual excursion to Tamarind Bay, we finally went to Olé Mexican Grill in Inman Square.  Olé has actually been one of my favorite Mexican restaurants not only in Boston, but probably in all of the USA (sorry Southwest).  I have not been to Mexico, outside of a stint that I spent on a trip to San Antonio when I was a kid, so I can’t speak to the authenticity of the restaurant, but I will say it is a great place to get upscale Mexican food.

A quaint cooksmanship trick that Olé has is tableside salsa or guacamole synthesis.  However, the restaurant is often so busy that the preparation is rarely tableside.  Also, it used to be that you could custom make your salsa or guacamole (including more chiles, less garlic, etc.), but now all you get is a homogenized salsa or guacamole that is admittedly freshly made.   

While the guacamole is very tasty, the salsa is nothing spectacular.  It has a little too much chipotle for my liking.  It’s almost as if everyone in the world is cramming chipotle into things, and frankly I grow weary of this meme.  Nevertheless, if I had the option of regulating the ingredient distribution, I would definitely suggest less chipotle.  But again, this is pure cooksmanship, so the tableside salsa is all show and no substance.

The quesadilla mexicana is unlike any other quesadilla I have ever had.  Instead of being a giant tortilla-version of a grilled cheese, it is four bite-sized deep fried masa pockets stuffed with black beans or poblano peppers, crema, and grated cotija cheese.  Very subtle yet flavorful appetizer.

The ejotes al achiote are haricot verts (green beans) with tomatoes, seasoned with cinnamon, oregano, and achiote paste.  These beans were very tasty with the pickled onions and unmentioned garlic pieces providing much of the flavor.  The cinnamon, oregano and achiote paste were very subtle in flavor.

Crepes with huitlacoche, shiitaki mushrooms and epazote on poblano-cream sauce.  This is probably my favorite appetizer, although it is a little on the heavier side of the appetizer spectrum.  Like a very creamy and rich enchilada.

Baked chilaquiles “lasagna” with spinach, grilled corn, chile poblanos, mushrooms and cheese on creamy corn puree.  I thought the crepes were rich, but this was on a whole other level.  Imagine drinking corn flavored cream, and you wouldn’t be far off from the richness of this dish.  The peppers, cheese, corn and cream provide such a great blend of richness and spice.  I could eat six of these if I didn’t know it would probably immediately kill me.

Tlacoyos is a salad with masa cakes stuffed with plantains and black beans.  Topped with a chipotle salsa and cotija cheese, these were pleasantly crispy corn cakes.  I definitely could have eaten more of those if I hadn’t already had my daily fill of 15,000 calories from the chilaquiles.

Ensalada Ole - Hearts of romaine, ancho chile strips, cotija cheese, slivered toasted almonds and corn tortilla squares in creamy avocado-citrus dressing.  My aunt was still hungry for some reason, so she ordered this.  Nobody really ate it.  The chile strips were the only part worth trying.

Taco tapas - red peppers and cheese or portobello mushrooms.  At this point, you’re probably wondering how much did this glutenous jerk eat?  I ate small portions of everything you saw, which actually ended up being very filling.  The one dish that I ate on my own is the $3 taco tapas, in which you can order any taco you want (only two of which are vegetarian).  One red pepper and cheese and one portobello mushroom taco were slightly overpriced (duh, they were tapas!), but were very flavorful.

None of us felt like eating dessert, but the desserts in Olé are amazing, so I convinced my family to share a couple of desserts.  Also, it was my aunt/cousin’s birthday.  My non-birthday cousin decided to order the panecillo de chocolate, a Mexican bread pudding with Belgian bittersweet chocolate, fresh berries and cinnamon ice cream.  I thought the ice cream was delicious, but the bread pudding was a gummy mess.  Definitely not the pick of the litter.

I conned my aunt/cousin to get the bananas tres leches, as she didn’t want dessert, but she was entitled to one as it was her birthday.  The tres leches is very tasty as a creamy cake with three kinds of milk, banana liquor, and kahlua whipped cream.

I ordered the crepas de cajeta (you really can’t go wrong with anything “crepas” from Olé).  These were crepes served with a goats milk caramel sauce, and topped with candied pecans and vanilla ice cream.  There used to be a fried cheesecake dessert, which was replaced by this dish, and Olé goes from strength to strength with dessert. 

I am a big fan of Olé Mexican Grill, and I do appreciate them increasing the number of vegetarian dishes on the menu from when I initially went there a few years ago.  However, the food at Olé is beyond my normal price range as a struggling scientist, and is one of the types of places that you go to on special occasions.  One concern I have with Olé is that I feel that their success has caught up with them, and it has become a place that is a little to self-aware of how great it is.  Smugness is not an attitude befitting a good Mexican restaurant (or any non-steakhouse restaurant).  So, for that I’ll only give Olé Mexican Grill four cheese sandwiches.  Because the food is outstanding, but not very vegan friendly and a little too much attitude befitting a five cheese sandwich restaurant.

Olé Mexican Grill
11 Springfield Street
Cambridge, MA 02139 
(617) 492-4495

I’ve never really understood the whole “celebrity chef” phenomenon.  Why people should be regaled just because they make food slightly better than most other people is beyond me.  And yes, I am aware that the purpose of this blog is to regale chefs that make food slightly better than other chefs.  But after watching Amadeus and toiling in obscurity for most of my life, I find it objectionable to just thrust glory on people that probably don’t deserve it (Anthony Bourdain and Gordon Ramsey are despicable people).  Despite this, I do actually like the concept behind Parish Cafe, a restaurant that specializes in sandwiches designed by celebrity chefs.

Apparently, the general trend for celebrity chefs is to make sandwiches with meat, as there are only two sandwiches that are vegetarian (none are vegan).  I decided to go with the Pudding Portobello, created by Debra Hughes of Upstairs in the Square, which includes portobello mushrooms, casa de roma cheese, onion marmalade, and a walnut pesto in focaccia.  This is a very simple and delicious sandwich, despite it being over $10, and it comes with a huge portion of white bean salad (which are really just lightly salted and lemoned white beans).

Part of the reason I don’t like celebrity chefs, is that there are very few celebrity chefs that specialize in vegetarian cuisine.  My annoying meat-eating cousin loves celebrity chefs and he always quotes some obnoxious chef that I don’t remember who said “being vegetarian is like painting with only 50% of a color palette.”  Which is fine, but I would love to see how tasty meat would taste without the benefits of vegetables.  Part of any business is accepting that the customer is right, which is why I’m always baffled by restaurants that refuse to acknowledge that some people are vegetarian.  This is especially true in celebrity chef-run establishments, which is why I don’t like celebrity chefs.

So, my bias against celebrity chefs aside, the portobello sandwich at Parish cafe was pretty good, not $12 good, but good nonetheless.  If I had a high paying day trader job, I would definitely consider coming here regularly, as that seemed to be the crowd that was dining there for lunch.  The offputting high price and lack of vegetarian options compels me to give Parish Cafe two and a half cheese sandwich.  Perhaps they can rotate the sandwich creations more often and have concepts created by more different chefs (perhaps including chefs that aren’t all obsessed with pork products)?

Parish Cafe
361 Boylston Street
Boston, MA 02116 
(617) 247-4777