My mother came into town for her spring break, so I’ve been on a temporary hiatus from reviewing restaurants as I have been eating loads of home cooking (and home-cooked leftovers).  I thought I’d pay her back (as best I could with my meagre salary) and take her out someplace nice.  We ended up going to Upstairs in the Square in Harvard Square, which is one of the most convoluted restaurants I’ve ever been to (and that includes Vapiano).  There are multiple different dining rooms, each with a similar, yet slightly different menu.  We started on the first floor, and told the hostess we were mostly vegetarian, so she said “You should try the Supper Club menu, there is a vegetarian prix fixe.”  So, we decided to climb up to the top level which was decorated like an Alice in Wonderland tea party.

We actually ended up not ordering the vegetarian prix fixe which was a 5 or 7 course meal for 50-70 dollars (depending on how many dishes you wanted).  Funnily enough, most of the dishes on the prix fixe were available à la carte, so we decided to split a few entrées and appetizers.  The free bread (pain gratis, if you prefer pretense) was tasty despite being sourdough.  I don’t like sourdough, but I do like free bread, so I’ll say the bread made me morally conflicted.

Our waiter told us that he really liked us, so he had the chef make us some cheese gougères, which were basically fried cheese puffs.  They were quite fantastic, and we were really excited to get these for free.  That was until we saw our waiter say the exact same thing to another table.  That actually broke my heart almost as much as my last girlfriend, because you expect that from someone you are involved with emotionally, but not a waiter!  He even invited us to come visit him in Brazil during the World Cup in 2014!

After that, we tried to salvage the dining experience despite that overt betrayal.  Fortunately, my mother’s Jerusalem artichoke soup was phenomenal, with bits of sorrel and black trumpet dried mushrooms providing texture contrasts to the perfectly salted and flavoured soup.  I am not a big fan of soups, but even I was impressed by this soup.

I ordered the roasted beet salad with horseradish panna cotta, which was a phenomenal dish.  The sweetness of the beets paired with the sinus-clearing flavor of the horseradish was an intriguingly tasty pairing.  I could eat this all day.

Unfortunately, there was only one entree for the three vegetarians, which was mixed winter root vegetables with gnocchi.  Almost all other gnocchi dishes that I have ever had were very heavy and filling, this dish was magically light.  It was minimally salted, and the contrasting flavors of brussel sprouts, carrots, parsnips, mushrooms and chestnuts with pesto created a delightfully tasty broth remaining after the dish was finished.

At this point I was pretty full, but we had to order dessert.  My cousin ordered churros with chocolate syrup and cinnamon ice cream which was phenomenal.  Each item (churros, syrup, ice cream) would have been delicious on their own, but in combination were amazing.

I ordered the gateau noisette, a hazelnut mousse torte with hazelnut butter cream and hazelnut ice cream.  It was a little too hazelnutty for my liking, and I like hazelnut.  At this point I wished I had gotten the churros instead.  Apologies for the blurriness.  At this point I was approaching a diabetic coma.

My mother ordered the chocolate pecan turtles, which were chocolate covered pecans with a brown sugar caramel.  These were very tasty, but ludicrously sweet, to the point that I could only eat a half of one (okay, maybe one and a half) of the three turtles.

Upstairs in the Square in my opinion is a little pricey, but definitely worth going if you want to experience fine dining.  The service is very friendly (perhaps too friendly – don’t get emotionally attached to your waiter, they’ll break your heart).  I know I gave a glowing review of Rialto, but I would say that Upstairs in the Square is better than Rialto.  There are not a lot of vegan options (the gnocchi had egg, the soup and salad all had dairy), so for that I can’t give them five cheese sandwiches.  But I will give them four and a half cheese sandwiches.

Upstairs in the Square
91 Winthrop Street
Cambridge, MA 02138 
(617) 864-1933

If you’re looking for dating advice, don’t read this blog for dating advice.  That being said, it’s very difficult to try and impress women with fine dining.  On one hand, she might be amazed at your taste, but on the other, she might think you’re just a pretentious snob.  Anyway, I met this girl named Nykesha in New York who I was seeing a few weekends in a row (hanging out, doing fun early date stuff), and I felt it was time to amp up the situation and do a romantic meal together.  This girl works in Midtown Manhattan, and I thought it would be cool to take her to DB Bistro Moderne, a place I almost went to with Hakeem and Chamique that looked like a good date venue*.

Before we even ordered we were given parmesan breadsticks with pesto and olive tapenade.  The breadsticks were light and fresh-tasting, and went well with the pesto and olive tapenade.  As an amuse-bouche, it was quite appealing.

We both ordered soups, and I told her that I was not a big fan of soups, as a function of my wisdom teeth surgery 13 years ago.  Nykesha said I should get over that by now.  I ordered the butternut squash soup, which pretty much was the best soup I’ve ever had.  So, I did get over it, but not because of her, it just turned out that I’ve only been eating really crappy soups for years (sorry, Au Bon Pain!).

That being said, the butternut squash soup was the best soup I had until I tried the wild mushroom soup that Nykesha ordered!  There was such an interesting blend of flavors and textures in the soup, with little quasi-dried mushrooms providing a pop with every spoonful.  I am a big fan of mushrooms, and the bold flavor was really great, almost to the point where I tried to get her to switch (with no success).

Nykesha ordered the orecchiette pasta, which is supposed to have a venison ragout, but they were willing to make vegetarian by not putting in the venison.  They did put in the butternut squash, chestnuts, and tomatoes.  The pasta was obviously very fresh, but the flavor was quite mundane and likely needed the ragout to taste good.

I ordered the “parsley impression farfalle”, which was the only dedicated vegetarian option on the menu (that wasn’t an appetizer).  Basically it was campanelle pasta with mushrooms, tomatoes, truffles and parmesan.  While I was enjoying the food and I actually much preferred my pasta dish to Nykeshas, I was slowly thinking about how much I was spending on this meal (~$30 for each pasta dish!).

Nevertheless, a meal’s got to end in dessert.  We decided to split the hazelnut marjolaine gateaux, which was frangelico cream, milk chocolate coffee mousse, devils food cake, and coffee ice cream (and a bizarrely cool chocolate wheel).  The desserts at DB Bistro Moderne are definitely the highlight of any meal.  It’s cliche to say that the meal looked to good to eat, but it actually felt weird digging into such a beautifully organized dish.

Overall, Nykesha and I had a good time, despite us both realizing that this New York-Boston thing was not going to work.  She definitely had a better time, as I ended up paying for the whole thing (stupid chivalry…).  What food is available for vegetarians at DB Bistro Moderne is fantastic and very delicious.  However, the selection is very limited, and while I had a very tasty pasta dish, modifying a dish to make it vegetarian just does not work.  Furthermore, the staff didn’t seem too keen to try and invent something for us knowing that we were vegetarian and didn’t want to have the exact same meal experience.  So, I can’t give full credit to DB Bistro Moderne for that.  However, for a fancy dining restaurant, it is reasonably priced, and the food is amazing, so I’ll give it three and a half cheese sandwiches.  I could be assuaged to give it 5 if it catered to vegetarians with a couple more entrees.

*Before you ask, SHE wanted me to record the date by blog.  Women can be vain sometimes.

DB Bistro Moderne
55 West 44th Street
New York, NY 10036

One of the great joys in life is having pretentiously fancy meals.  The other night, I was with my cousin Tuna and my cousin/aunt Monique. She was going to go to a movie in Fresh Pond Mall, and I had to meet some friends in Central Square at 10, and Tuna needed to go home and “boil some herb” so we needed a place to eat that was centrally located, i.e. Harvard Square.  Unfortunately, there are very few good places to eat in Harvard Square that aren’t pretentious or expensive on a weekend.  So, I thought this was a good opportunity to finally try Om Restaurant, a place whose pretentious decor I have long admired since walking by and seeing a silent disco occurring in the lounge.

Surprisingly, the “free bread” that Om offers is parmesan-truffle oil popcorn.  Don’t get me wrong, it was delicious, even coming from someone who hates popcorn, but it seems like a strange choice of nibble food for a place that pretends to be Asian-inspired.  I don’t know one thing about parmesan-truffle oil popcorn that says Asian, unless the truffle oil is from China.

After the bizarreness of the parmesan-truffle popcorn, a server came by and gave three mini soups.  At first I wasn’t sure what it was, so I asked if it was vegetarian, and the man responded “Drink.” with the most maniacal smile that I thought he was trying to poison my family.  After my cousin who eats meat tried it, he said it was some kind of coconut curry milk soup and was probably vegetarian.  It was actually pretty tasty, and I presume it is some sort of palate cleanser for meal preparation.

I ordered the tempura vegetables, which were pretty average, especially considering that they were six dollars.  They were a little too greasy for my liking, but I did appreciate the opportunity to get some vegetables (I was feeling very health-conscious for this meal, for some reason).

My aunt ordered the vegetable momos, which were just expensive Tibetan dumplings ($7 for 6), and came with three sauces: mint green chili, soy sake, and sweet chili.  I would have enjoyed them more if they weren’t so expensive, but I guess that’s the price you have to pay to export Tibetan food (due to the heavy tariffs imposed on that region by China)*.

I did my best to try to improve this image, but shortly after they served our appetizers, Om decided to make the entire restaurant pitch black.  Which makes sense, considering a group of scantily clad Asian girls came to the next door table.  And before you start getting excited, these were not the kind of scantily clad girls that you enjoy seeing in a Univision Telenovella, these were the kind of girls that dress scantily to overcompensate for their unattractive faces (and personalities).  My aunt ordered the vegetarian noodle soup, which was pretty bland and flavorless.  She offered some to me, after my initial prima nocht, and I gave her the response my dad always use to give me in those kinds of situations: “You made your bed, now you gotta lie in it.”  So, she begrudgingly shoveled that slop into her gullet.  My aunt and I have a very good relationship.

I ordered the Chinese BBQ tofu, which was crispy fried tofu with a BBQ sauce, with Chinese broccoli and Himalayan red rice.  The important part of that sentence was the lack of a “with a ________ sauce” preposition.  While the tofu was actually really tasty (though not meritorious of a $18 price tag), there was zero flavor in the rice and broccoli, which I think were just boiled and/or blanched and put on a plate.  And the four pieces of tofu were inadequate to flavor the rice or broccoli, so I too was shoveling flavorless grub down my gullet.

For the price you pay for food at Om, you’d expect good food, and it turned out the best food were the free popcorn and palate cleanser soup.  Unfortunately, neither of these were meal options, so if you really want to come here, I suggest just going to a real Asian restaurant in Harvard Square like Yen Ching.  I give Om, one and a half cheese sandwiches.

*I’m making up a quasi-plausible explanation of why the momos were so expensive.  Ultimately, there’s no excuse…

Om Restaurant
92 Winthrop Street
Cambridge, MA 02138 
(617) 576-2800

I finally am leaving India and heading back to a land that isn’t hot or filled with mosquitos.  Some might call it bittersweet, but they probably have never eaten 30 straight days of dosa.  As I was going into the airport, I waited outside in what I perceived to be a line, and then discovered it was not a line!  I then was stopped at the security checkpoint, but I again wasn’t sure if it was a line or not.  Once I skipped to the front, the guy behind me said, “Excuse me, I don’t think you were in this line!”  I then pretended that I didn’t know what was going on, and went into the airport.  After this awkward experience, I knew I was going to get punished by karma.  Unfortunately, I went to the ticketing counter and discovered that instead of my terrible seat in economy, I was going to get a complimentary upgrade to business!  Exciting, but now I’m always watching over my shoulder to see when karma’s going to really screw me.

While the flight departed at 1:45 AM, I was too buzzed to go to sleep (despite the fact that I had a seat that fully reclined into a flat bed).  So, I waited for the meal service.  First, a bag of cashews!  These scrubs in economy are eating peanuts, while the crème de la crème are munching on cashews.  How are we permitting this to happen as a society?

In economy class, you normally get a salad with your meal.  In business, you get an hors d’oeuvre!  In this case, it was lettuce with shaved parmesan and croutons.  I’m pretty sure all the ingredients came from India, because the lettuce, crouton, and cheese all tasted funny (sort of like the worst caesar salad I’ve ever had).  So, it turns out, if you think you’re missing out on business class, you’re not, really…

Based upon the description of the chefs who assemble the business class meal, I was expecting something on par with a two star Guide Michélin meal.  Not this generic fettucini with asparagus, zucchini, broccoli, and tomato that was more Michelina’s frozen dinner than Guide Michélin.  But, even a Michelina’s frozen dessert is better than what you normally get in economy.  So, I won’t complain too much (did I mention I had a fully reclining seat?).

For dessert, a bread and rice pudding, which was pretty tasty, though I would say the chocolate mousse was vastly superior from my economy leg down to India.  When it comes to dessert, there are certain dishes that are always superior to others (tiramasu is always better than crème brulée), which is why dessert is the most classist and bigoted meal you can have and is surprising, since you’d expect airlines to be good at classism.

After about 3-4 hours of sleep (some of it was actually REM quality sleep!), I was awoken for “breakfast”.  First, a plate of fruit, and if you know me at all, this is not the type of thing you want to wake me up for.

The croissant/brioche was actually pretty good and made up for my waiting for a real meal instead of that disgusting plate of fruit.

I wanted to try their Indian breakfast (masala uttapam, tomato upma, and sambhar), but that was only available for those that requested vegetarian (and we’ve gone over why I don’t request vegetarian).  Nevertheless, the breakfast of poached eggs, fried tomato and spinach with hash browns was still pretty tasty (when doused with enough pepper).  Overall, the hype over how terrible airline food is is probably well deserved, though I don’t understand why.  Airline food could be a force for good and quality taste, like anybody who’s eaten a Stouffer’s Mac and Cheese dinner can tell you.  The point is, you have to make wise decisions when assembling your menu, and these chefs just have no clue what tastes good microwaved and what doesn’t.  Admittedly, this business class dinner/breakfast was actually pretty good.

To get the full business experience, I snuck into the Business lounge in Frankfurt Airport.  While I was technically only upgraded for one leg of my flight (Madras-Frankfurt), I wanted to see if I could check out the lounge while I waited, and I heard the lounges had showers.  First of all, the lounges do not have showers!  Secondly, outside of the unlimited free coffee/beer/snacks the business lounge is pretty depressing.

This was my favorite - an espresso machine that made these delicious hot chocolate/latte mixes that kept me wired all the way through the rest of the day.

And this was my least favorite, a cheese sandwich using pretzel bread (a German tradition?) and filled with chive cream cheese and mesclun.  At first I would complain, but when compared to the meat options (chipotle chicken and tuna salad), you sort of get how bleak the options are.

While I really enjoyed the complimentary upgrade and worked every last ounce of power it gave me out of it, I would say that it was kind of disappointing.  I have relatives that fly business and first class all the time, and they tell me about how awesome these various lounges are/flights are/etc.  And after experiencing business class travel for the first time in 20 years, I would say that it’s nice, but it’s really the minimum for how people should be treated when they fly on a plane.  So flying economy should really be considered subhuman.  I’ll give flying zero cheese sandwiches (because it is terrible) and the food in the Business class two and a half cheese sandwiches.

If you’re a regular reader of the blog, you’ve probably noticed that I eat most of my meals alone. Then you’re probably thinking that I’m the really sad guy sitting in the corner of whatever restaurant you’re in by himself. I probably am, but I’m not that sad – I write a quasi-successful blog (Four followers! Thanks caketease, a-pwrs, karrkarrkarr, thisaintseaworld, and imfrompeebles!)! So, to change things up a bit, I thought I’d take a date (Yolanda) to Restaurant Week, more specifically Rialto, to try celebrity chef Jody Adams’ cuisine.

Dining while dating (or vice versa) is a complicated affair, because behavior vital to dining is often times deplorable in dating (such as stuffing your face with nachos).  So, it is an intriguing opportunity to try and romance somebody (as only Cheesesandwich.org can!) while still being a foodie douchebag blogger.  It was quite difficult just trying her to go out to dinner with me, primarily because she probably didn’t like me, and secondly because she is a vegan and therefore overprotective of the possibility of meat/dairy/egg/honey/gelatin contamination in her food.  So, I went through several set menus for Restaurant Week until I found a menu/restaurant that was friendly for both of us (and so that we wouldn’t have to order the same thing either). I told her I found a place after calling to see if they would make any vegan entrees, and I think she was impressed at my work ethic (most people usually are – the closest I have to a redeeming quality as a human would be my work ethic) and agreed to go out with me.

When we both arrived at Rialto, our table wasn’t ready, so we decided to wait at the bar, which was probably a mistake since I don’t think either of us wanted to drop $10 or more on a drink (despite the fact that we probably should have). So, we waited 15-20 minutes for our table sipping water at the bar, while the other Rialto glitterati were downing their single malt scotches and appletinis. We were finally seated next to two Indians who were playing a game over who knew the most important people at Harvard (I tried to interject by saying I know the Falafel King, but they didn’t care).

Our waitress was very tolerant to our dietary concerns, and Yolanda was even impressed that she asked whether she would be OK with having processed sugars* in the dessert (which she is). Before the meal, they laid out two pieces of bread, one for each of us, and a dipping spread of rosemary extra virgin olive oil and sea salt. I did like the layout of the spread, but the bread was so crusty that it was almost inedible. All I could think about was my mother complaining about how tough the bread is.  This is probably a weird thing to say, but everytime I have tough bread, I think of my mother because 90% of my dinner conversations with her involve her complaining about how tough bread to chew is these days.

For our starters, I had heirloom bean soup with carrot and ginger puree, while she had an artichoke, date, and radicchio salad. Portionwise, her salad did appear quite meager, but she said she enjoyed it and even offered me to try a date. I then felt terrible, as I could not offer my soup (as it had cream in it).  I tried to play it cool and started talking about how much I disliked the current weather we were having.

As the conversation reached a bubbling climax, our entrees came out. She had a plate of grilled asparagus, sautéed spinach and garlic, and effectively a vegan mini-eggplant Parmesan (roasted eggplant in a tomato sauce with onions - no cheese). That looked delicious, but I refrained from prima nochting her meal since I already still felt bad about the date (the fruit, not what was currently happening). I had three cheese ravioli in a pesto sauce, which was homemade, and delicious. My big concern with homemade pasta is that it has to be truly al dente otherwise it is soggy and impossible to eat. Unfortunately, the ravioli was just a shade past al dente, and I was clumsily fumbling with it as she was explaining her life’s aspirations.  So, all future conversations regarding that topic will have to be avoided since I was busy ravioli fumbling.

Finally, dessert. She got a lemon sorbet with blackberries, and I had a chocolate torte. Surprisingly enough, by this point I was actually stuffed, so I couldn’t really eat much food. The torte was pretty good, but I thought her lemon sorbet dish was slightly underwhelming in appearance. It basically looked like three lumps of sorbet with blackberries rolling around the plate all higgledy piggledy. I thought, seeing how everything else was plated out so artfully, the lemon sorbet looked quite slipshod. However, Yolanda loved it and said it was great.

I had a thoroughly enjoyable evening with Yolanda, and had a great meal at Rialto, and credit must be given to the staff there for being very forgiving and tolerant to two poor herbivores. They did a great job, and while the food was not the most amazing food I’ve had for the price, I will give Rialto five cheese sandwiches for providing a great atmosphere, friendly staff, and food on a regular basis that is usually vegetarian (and sometimes vegan) friendly. Many complaints about Rialto focus around the small plate portions, which is a fair point, but sometimes it is nice to still be a little hungry after a meal (especially if you’re on a date).  Regardless, I highly recommend Rialto, especially if your dining concerns are finicky, because even if their menu doesn’t offer an opportunity, they will make something outstanding for you (a hallmark of any good restaurant).

Rialto
1 Bennett Street
Cambridge, MA 02138 
(617) 661-5050

*Processed sugars usually contain bone char – don’t know why, but they do.