If there’s anything that I try to do by writing this blog, it is to bust hype.  For years, west coasters have always gone on and on about how great In n’ Out Burger is, and how nothing can match the quality of In n’ Out Burger.  I went through the same experience with Five Guys from DC people.  Aaron, my friend that I was staying with in the Valley lived just down the street from an In n’ Out Burger, so he took me to the place so I can see what all the fuss is about.

Aaron insisted that the thing to get at In n’ Out was the Animal-style fries, which were fries topped with caramelized onions, cheese, and thousand island dressing.  While that would sound delicious, the fries on their own were very stale and unappetizing.  Even if they were fresh, I don’t really see how they are any different from McDonald’s fries.  I don’t know what exactly makes this “animal” style, perhaps that this is food more fitting for animals than humans? 

In n’ Out does not offer anything vegetarian friendly, the only option they had was a cheese sandwich or a grilled cheese.  I ordered the grilled cheese because I wanted something a little hot.  It turned out it was just a cheese sandwich on a toasted bun.  Unlike Five Guys, this cheese sandwich was slightly tasty so I will give it a few points for that.

Surprisingly, even McDonalds (in some locations worldwide) offer veggie burgers. Admittedly it is simply a ploy to get increased sales in markets where vegetarianism is quite high (like India).  When people go on about how places like Five Guys or In n’ Out are so great, I have to ask “Do they have a veggie burger?”  In my opinion, any place that doesn’t care about catering to a broad spectrum of clientele simply does not take food service seriously.  These local pale imitations of McDonalds will be just that, and until they are willing to cater to vegetarians, I’ll give them one and a half cheese sandwiches.

In n’ Out Burger
4444 Van Nuys Boulevard
Sherman Oaks, CA 91403-2908 
(800) 786-1000

With the improved weather, comes more trips down to the South End for lunch.  I really enjoy walking in the South End because I love pretending that I live in wealthy neighborhoods.  Sam, Vernon and I decided one day to go to Masa (actually we wanted to go to Picco, but it was packed).  Since Sam’s girlfriend has been in town for a while, they’ve been trying to eat at nice restaurants once a week, and he told me that Masa makes a very good brunch.  We weren’t going for brunch, but from his description it sounded like a good choice.

Unlike Picco, nobody was eating at Masa.  I guess nobody else had heard about the brunch.  We got a nice table by the window and out came the pain gratis (this is my neologism for the year (last year was “primanocht”, you’re welcome America).  The pain gratis was an assortment of corn and crusty breads.

The breads came with a sampler of chipotle hummus (left), maple butter (middle), and red pepper cream cheese (right).  As good as the bread was, the sampler of dips/spreads was much better.  I really enjoyed the maple butter and red pepper hummus, mostly because I’ve grown weary of the chipotlification of modern cuisine (making a “chipotle-” something has become cliche in fine dining). 

There were not a lot of vegetarian dishes on the lunch menu, but what was available did seem interesting.  I ordered the fall vegetable vegetable burrito, which was filled with carrots, parsnips, and other boring vegetables.  I should probably go back in spring (i.e. now), as spring vegetables are way tastier than fall vegetables.  However, the biggest disappointment of the burrito is the deconstruction of it.  All the flavor (i.e. guacamole and salsa) was on the corn leaf, rather than in the burrito!  So, I had to unwieldily dip the burrito into the guacamole/salsa to make it flavorful.

Sam ordered the butternut squash soup and salad combination, and I actually enjoyed primanochting his soup, which was very flavorful, with a faint glimpse of spiciness.

However, nothing could match the chile dusted fries for taste and flavor.  I don’t think you can go wrong with spicy fries (outside of them being oversalted, which these were not).

Masa’s menu is very vegetarian unfriendly (with only one dish being a dedicated vegetarian option).  This is particularly surprising for a southwestern themed restaurant.  From my brief excursions into the southwest, there are plenty of dishes that are vegetarian friendly (or can be made vegetarian friendly).  However, the food at Masa is very tasty.  However, no matter how good the sides and pain gratis is, I can’t promote dining at a place that doesn’t really want vegetarians to eat there (as evidenced by having only one dish that is not particularly great).  So, I’ll give Masa two cheese sandwiches, also for the fact that their website commits ALL the cardinal sins of stupid web design (flash intro, music playing without you wanting it to, having to download PDFs just to read the menu, etc.).  Go with meat eating friends and just fill up on the bread.

Masa
439 Tremont Street
Boston, MA 02116 
(617) 338-8884

Boston, unlike New York, does not have a wealth of indigenous burger chains that serve mass-produced veggie burgers (see NYC Veggie Burger META Review).  There are a few, such as B. Good and Uburger, but that is it.  This is sad for perhaps the 3% of my readers that are really keen on getting a veggie burger fast (chime up if you think there are more people that want good fast veggie burgers not served as pub-grub).  Uburger is almost universally praised as being one of the best local burger chains in Boston.  A new location just opened on the Common, near where I work, so I went with Kenny to check it out.

While Uburger claims that it was founded on the premise that “high-quality and fresh ingredients make a huge difference”, they obviously do not apply that ethos to their veggie burgers.  It is obviously a frozen patty, very much akin to a Gardenburger patty (though it tastes marginally better than your typical Gardenburger).  What’s more, you have to pay 35 cents more to get a veggie burger!  Their “About Us” section states that they only have freezers to keep their ice cream cold.  Which makes me confused on multiple reasons - Do they not freeze their veggie burgers?  Are the patties just kept at room temperature and then fried?  That can’t be sanitary.  Unless they’re lying… Which would explain why you have to pay 35 cents extra for a veggie burger, it’s freezer overhead costs.

The fries are very tasty, as they taste like freshly made McDonald’s fries.  They are very simple and delicious.  No complaints on this front.

Despite it looking like a vat of sludge, the mint oreo shake was phenomenal.  It is just starting to get a little warm, and I am already looking forward to a summer of frappes (shakes for you in normal non-New England parts of the country).  And this frappe served as a good prelude for the summer to come.

I can understand how the meat eaters can enjoy Uburger, almost everything I had was pretty good and cheap.  I got a regular cheese veggie burger, fries, and a shake all for ~$11.  A pretty good deal for anywhere that is not overtly destroying the world (McDonalds, Burger King).  However, their veggie burger is of appalling quality considering they take such pride in their meat patties.  If they can make fresh meat patties daily, just make a small percentage of veggie patties.  I actually would not even complain if it was frozen (well, maybe a little), but it would still be 100 times better than the Gardenburger patty.  I don’t even understand why every crappy restaurant uses Gardenburger patties.  Is there some sort of sinister conspiracy that Gardenburger is behind trying to make meals disgusting for vegetarians everywhere?  Also, Gardenburger patties are not vegan.  At the very least, this should be considered if you actually care about customers.  Because of this meat-eating snobbery against making a decent veggie burger, I have to give Uburger two cheese sandwiches.  As the place is actually pretty decent, but they don’t nail the one dish that most vegetarians/vegans would eat if they came here.

Uburger
140 Tremont Street
Boston, MA 02108

Many people wonder - “Does the Cheese Sandwich guy have any hobbies?”.  I’ll admit, nobody really wonders that, but at some point this blog will catch on (probably in an Dickinsonian* manner), and at that point, those people will wonder - “Did the Cheese Sandwich guy have any hobbies, outside of addiction to pain pills?”  Well, for those of you who care (but not enough to preemptively stop my addiction to pain pills), I like to play ultimate frisbee.  I don’t like to brag, but back in college, I was the Randy Moss of ultimate frisbee - one of the most dominant players in England (though I guess that really makes me more the Mario Manningham of ultimate frisbee).  Anyway, my frisbee league started its fall season in Jamaica Plain, on the opposite corner from Doyle’s Café, famously portrayed in films such as Good Will Hunting, though the most inappropriately named café I have ever been to.

After you’ve been running around for two hours, nothing seems more satisfying that carbohydrates.  Fortunately, Doyle’s has a wide selection of fries, ranging from pub fries (english cut), garlic fries (above), and sweet potato fries.  Initially, when ordering the garlic fries, I was concerned that they would be too garlicky (there were girls at the table I was trying to impress).  Fortunately, they were simply fries that had been gently seasoned, which made them that much better.  Served with a honey dijon sauce, this is definitely a highlight of the menu.

If you’re playing frisbee, and you are in the late game, all that is available is pizza after 11 pm.  Initially, I found this disappointing, as all I wanted were some garlic fries, but the pizza was really good!  It’s the kind of pizza that you would expect from a pub (so it’s definitely not Italian wood-fired quality).  But it’s the kind of pizza that you would want after playing two hours of dominating ultimate (my frisbee team this season is ridiculous - and I’m slowly becoming the Wes Welker of frisbee).

Doyle’s has a wide variety of options for vegetarians - something you’d expect for a restaurant in Jamaica Plain.  It’s a great place to come and hang out, and is very warm, but just be warned, if you are coming on a Monday night, it’s going to be filled with ultimate frisbee losers, and possibly the Brandon Marshall of frisbee.  I’ll give Doyle’s three and a half cheese sandwiches.

*Emily Dickinson, not Bruce.

Doyle’s Café
3484 Washington Street
Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts 02130 
(617) 524-2345

An overlooked dining experience that merits some discussion is eating at a bar of a high-end restaurant.  Many people think that they can’t go to fancy places headed by celebrity chefs due to the fact that the average price of a meal is upwards of $40.  For a more reasonable option, head to the bar and get similar quality food at a fraction of the cost.  The Garden at the Cellar is an interesting restaurant, as it has a lower level bar which functions almost as its own gastropub.

I ordered the highly recommended chickpea fries, which are cutlets of chickpea paste served over a lemon butter sauce with fried sage.  These were very delicious, even if they do not appear to look so from the photo.  If there is one complaint I would have about the Cellar Bar, it would be that it is very poorly lit.  Unfortunately, that concern only makes a difference for annoying bloggers and people over the age of 70.  While I was eating my fries, a woman sat next to me at the bar and we struck up a shallow conversation while she was waiting for her boyfriend.  Typically people talk to me when they see me take photos of my food, and they ask “Why are you taking photos?”.  I then explain that “I write a vegetarian food review blog that is read by approximately 20 people a day.” Then they stop talking to me.

I also ordered a mini-flatbread, which is perhaps one of the costlier menu items on the bar menu, but merits that cost by being one of the most delicious menu items.  There are four flatbread options, two of which are vegetarian (three if you order the Asparagus without ham), and I ordered the roasted mushroom, which combined at least three detectable types of mushrooms (shiitake, portobello, and white) with a herbed ricotta cheese and topped with arugula and drizzled with truffle oil.  Many restaurants use truffle oil as a salve to fix a dish that is otherwise inedible, and often times they use the inferior black truffle oil.  The Cellar Bar uses white truffle oil, which is evident as it flavors the dish but does not overpower it (as is common with black truffle oil).  It was at this point that the woman sitting next to me had her boyfriend arrive who proceeded to passive aggressively yell at her and call her dumb because he was waiting for her at another bar.  One other advantage of the mini-flatbreads is that they are good for shoving in your mouth to prevent you from interfering with other people’s business.

Sticking on the theme of truffle oil, the rosemary truffle fries are the most delicious dish available in the Cellar Bar (and possibly the most delicious dish in Boston)!  As I’ve said before, using good quality truffle oil makes a difference between a dish that you feel nauseous after eating and a dish that you cannot stop eating because it is so delicious.  While the abundant use of luxurious butter and quality truffle oil makes almost everything at the Cellar bar delicious, it is hardly light fare.  Unfortunately, the only veggie sandwich they have at the bar is a falafel sandwich, and it was very dry and not very tasty (likely because they did not douse it in truffle oil or butter).  Because it is not very vegan-friendly and I feel the food is sometimes over-reliant upon using truffle oil or butter, I can only give the Garden at the Cellar four cheese sandwiches.

Garden at the Cellar
991 Massachusetts Avenue
Cambridge, MA 02138-5328 
(617) 230-5880