While I am a blogger, I really cannot stand the concept of “social media”, and it infuriates me that there are people whose job it is to maintain Facebook pages and twitter feeds.  I consider these jobs more non-jobs as they really don’t provide any useful good or service to better humanity (the inventors of the SlapChop have contributed more than these people).  I was invited to brunch by Hakeem for his friend for a surprise birthday brunch.  Hakeem’s friend works in “social media”, and all of the guests were social mediums*, and were instructed to not check in on Foursquare upon arrival.  This was going to be a long brunch.

The brunch was at Tavern on Jane, a place Hakeem took me once because they “have great burgers”.  Unfortunately, they don’t have anything for vegetarians, a couple of pasta dishes (where the pasta is vastly overcooked).  Nevertheless, we were dragged to Tavern on Jane for brunch, something that none of us were looking forward to.

I had a pretty good idea that this was going to be a painful brunch, when I noticed that everyone at the table had a smartphone.  More importantly, everyone had put their smartphone on the table, as if it were some sort of public competition.  I kept mine in my pocket (where it belonged), ashamed of the fact that I was even documenting this event for my blog.  If you want to play a fun game, see if you can spot all the cell phones on the table in this picture (some are hidden).  HINT: There are 6!  And that doesn’t include the other 5 cell phones of people who I couldn’t get into the shot.

I first took a picture of my 3-egg omelet (you have the option of filling it with any 3 of green peppers, onions, mushrooms or cheese), and the girl next to me says “Oh, are you on Foodspotting? What’s your screenname? I’ll follow you.”  I don’t know if she was trying to flirt with me, but if she was, it was not working.  The onion, mushroom, cheddar omelet came with homefries, and a fruit bowl.  I’m not a fruit fan, so I asked for no fruit, they didn’t decide to restructure the plate to compensate for the lack of fruit.  The omelet was pretty average, and the homefries were nothing spectacular.

The prix fixe (which the omelet was a part of) came with a bread basket of breads (mostly croissants and muffins).  I took a croissant, which didn’t appear to be fresh, and appeared to be brought in from some industrial croissant factory.

The muffin looked and tasted like the crappy muffins that you’d get in the bread section at your local grocery store.  I felt privileged that I got to spend $14 for the honor to eat a really mediocre, sub par meal.**

Overall, the food at Tavern on Jane is pretty terrible, and very unfriendly towards vegetarians (and vegans).  I couldn’t find anything to recommend about the place, unless you like dining in a dark pit (which could appear charming during the winter, but not as spring is approaching).  I am aware that the awful social network brunch may have tainted my experience, especially the argument that Hakeem and I got with one of the guys who worked for AOL where we asked “Why is there money to do what you do?”  He got very stuffy, and had some canned response which said “We’re really smart, because we have an answer to everything you asked.”  Actually no, you’re smart because you convinced people to pay you for a non-job.  I’ll give Tavern on Jane one cheese sandwich until they deem it necessary to cater to vegetarians or vegans, or even serve good food.

*I don’t know what you call someone who works in social media?  “Loser” seems a bit harsh.

**That sarcasm was brought to you by Irontweet (the Twitter service that only publishes ironic or sarcastic tweets).

Tavern on Jane
31 8th Avenue
New York, NY 10014-5156 
(212) 675-2526

Anytime I have a friend or family member in town, I con them into hanging out with me so that I have somebody to eat with at fancier restaurants.  Nothing says “I’m pathetic” like soup for one at Craigie on Main.  My cousin/aunt Monique volunteered to go to brunch with me one day, so I thought it was a perfect excuse to check out the South End for brunch (as I don’t really know anywhere in Boston (not Cambridge) that does a good brunch).  Yelp! recommended Union Bar and Grille, so I decided to check it out.

Union Diner delicately balances the charm and pretense of the South End to make a restaurant that tolerates screaming children and urban hipsters at the same time (I guess one could argue that they are the same thing).  They do a great brunch special, where you can get the omelet of the day, a cinnamon swirl sour cream coffee cake, and a coffee for ten bucks.  After discovering the omelet of the day is lacto-ovo-vegetarian, I decided to go with this.  The coffee cake is really delicious, and has just the right blend of cinnamon.  I did appreciate it’s flapjack quality (the Scottish version, not the Texas version) with oats blended into the cake to make it hearty.

While the coffee cake was good enough to justify the quality of the brunch, I also got an omelet of the day, which today was goat cheese, asparagus, and sundried tomato.  While somewhat scant on the filling, the omelet was light and fluffy.  The highlight of this though had to be the potatoes, which were nicely roasted and packed with flavor.

Monique got the mushroom, goat cheese, and leek omelet, which also was scant on the filling, and she apparently was watching her carbs, so she didn’t get the toast (but had no problem with potatoes… women).

Overall, if you’re in the South End, I highly recommend Union Bar and Grille.  It’s not particularly vegetarian friendly (based upon the menu), but they make a pretty good brunch if you eat eggs.  If you’re vegan, you’ll struggle with brunch, but at least the atmosphere is pleasant, and you can dine with some of the coolest hipster lesbians and lawyer families.  I give it four cheese sandwiches.

Union Bar and Grille
1357 Washington Street
Boston, MA 02118 
(617) 423-0555