I am a huge lover of pizza, and while I try to discern good pizza from bad pizza, I like pizza in all formats.  No matter how disgusting the pizza looks or is, I will likely consume it.  Even if I have already eaten a meal, if a pizza is placed in front of me, I will probably take a slice.  With all due respect to the late Johnny Cash, pizza is my cocaine.  That being said, California is known for having awful pizza.  I knew before I left Los Angeles that I had to have one stupid California pizza, and unfortunately Rocket Pizza in downtown Los Angeles was the location for me to get my dumb Californian pizza.

I should point out that Rocket Pizza is not too different from the standard college town pizza places that you’ll find strewn across America.  And their pizza options are fairly conservative for what I was expecting from a California pizza place.  However, their eponymous Rocket Pizza was probably the strangest option on the menu - onions, green peppers, mushrooms, feta, and eggs on pizza.  It was basically a breakfast pizza, but without any tomato sauce.  And sadly, that was the one thing I felt necessary for this pizza, as a little tanginess from the tomatoes would have tempered the excessive brackish flavor of the pizza.  The pizza was so salty, that I almost felt nauseous eating it.  And while I try to avoid salty foods in general, I can definitely handle excess salt.

Despite being excessively salty, I made the foolish decision of ordering the stupid Californian style pizza, so I can’t fault Rocket Pizza 100%.  The dough was actually pretty tasty, and I would imagine a normal pizza would be quite enjoyable here.  So, I will give Rocket Pizza a presumptuous three and a half cheese sandwiches.  As I presume it would be good, and the pizza is pretty reasonably priced for being LA.

Rocket Pizza
122 West 4th Street
Los Angeles, CA 90013 
(213) 687-4992

When I told my friends who live on the west coast that I was going to go to California, they warned me that the pizza on the west coast is awful.  I knew from previous experience that the ethos of west coast pizza is putting a bunch of ridiculous toppings (like baby corn, eggplant, and pickles) that make the pizzas awful.  However, Aaron and Kara suggested that we try Mozza2go, the takeaway version of Mozza, a restaurant founded by Nancy Silverton, Mario Batali and Joseph Bastianich.  With that combined celebrity, we knew we had no chance of getting at table at Mozza.  Thus, Mozza2go.

We decided to split the funghi misti with taleggio, fontina and thyme.  I am a big fan of mushrooms on pizza, and this took the mushroom pizza to the next level.  Normally, it’s plain old white button mushrooms, but this had a nice blend of white button, portobello, and possibly some shiitake mushrooms.  I would have preferred it with tomato sauce, but it was simple and very tasty without.  Apparently all the fuss over celebrity chefs is somewhat justified, and for you east coasters, I think you may finally have a decent place to get a pizza.

When Aaron and Kara first mentioned Mozza, they would talk about the butterscotch budino as if they were part of a cult and butterscotch budino was the Messiah.  Butterscotch pudding, salted caramel crystals, and the most deliciously light creme fraiche that I’ve ever had was so good that even I was converted to the holy church of Butterscotch Budino.

Mozza2go is a great option for those not prestigious enough to get a table at Mozza, and actually want to get good pizza in LA.  Admittedly, the price is quite steep ($17 for the personally sized fungi misti pizza), but if you really want a treat, it’s worth it.  There are plenty of interesting vegetarian options, using an assortment of ingredients and cheeses that you would never hear about outside of Italy.  Because of the exorbitantly high price and lack of vegan or gluten friendly options, I can’t give it five cheese sandwiches, but I will gladly give it four.  A very special treat when you’re out in LA (but only once in a blue moon, unless your sitcom just got syndicated).

Mozza2go
6610 Melrose Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90038 
(323) 297-1130

One of the great perks of having family is a family funded meal at a fancy restaurant.  My uncle notoriously takes his family to really nice restaurants, and every once in a while I get to tag along.  My mother was in town, and she loves Italian food, so my uncle took all of us out to Pazzo, an Italian restaurant in Back Bay.

You are not dining at an Italian restaurant unless you get some quality pain gratis with olive oil dipping sauce.  This was pretty standard fare and nothing to get too excited about.  This makes me wonder: have we reached the tipping point for pain gratis???

My mother ordered the beet carpaccio, thinly sliced pieces of golden and red beets topped with arugula, goats cheese, and drizzled with basalmic vinegar.  This was an interesting variation of beef carpaccio, and it was a really pleasant salad, the bitter arugula contrasted nicely with the sweet beets and the tart goat cheese/vinegar.  I really enjoyed this appetizer.

I ordered the Sicilian arancine, which were refreshingly vegetarian.  From my experience almost all Italian restaurants that serve arancini (or rice balls) stuff them with meat and cheese.  These were just cheese, and served with a saffron cream sauce.  It was a little too sweet for my liking and definitely could have used some tartness to contrast the bland fried rice and mozzarella ball.

We also ordered the warm spinach and goat cheese salad (there were 8 of us there, I’m not a glutton).  You can’t really go wrong with fried goat cheese and spinach.  Like the beet carpaccio it was a good combination of sweet and tart (which is part of the reason I didn’t really like the arancini).  Unfortunately, this is not really a dish meant for sharing, as there is limited amounts of fried goat cheese, and maximal amounts of spinach.

Finally the entrees come out (I say finally because this review seems interminable, not because it actually took very long).  I ordered the pumpkin ravioli, because ravioli is my favorite format for pumpkin, and I love ravioli.  It was served with some spinach, but was still a little too sweet for my liking.

In contrast, the eggplant parmesan was very bitter, the sauce was very sour, though it was doused with mammoth amounts of cheese.  I wasn’t a very big fan of this dish.

I did like the gnocchi however, it was quite light, though my uncle thought it was doughy.  Normally gnocchi is very heavy, but I ate all six dumplings easily and didn’t feel too heavy.  The kale and tomato garlic sauce was quite a tasty accompaniment.

My cousin ordered the potato and cheese pizza, though I don’t know why.  I’m not really a big fan of potato pizzas, as I find them very bland and uninteresting.  This pizza looks as boring as it tasted.

If you didn’t think I’d be full from all the other food, I somehow managed to find some room for tiramasu (there’s always room for tiramasu).  If this was made in-house, it was not very good, and tasted as if it was made in a central location and delivered to the restaurant.

While I love Italian food, and find that Italian restaurants are pretty vegetarian (though not necessarily vegan) friendly, I find that most Italian restaurants are not very good.  They usually are very expensive and their menus are pretty unimaginative or uninteresting.  Pazzo falls victim to this common concern, as most of the dishes I had (outside of the beet carpaccio which was amazing) were tastier at other Italian restaurants I’ve been to.  And considering the fact that we sampled almost every vegetarian entree, I think I have a pretty good idea of what Pazzo’s has to offer.  It’s pretty good food, but vastly overpriced.  If you ever feel like getting just one dish from a restaurant, I suggest coming to Pazzo’s just for the beet carpaccio, because it’s great.  Everything else, is così-così. So, I’ll give it 3 and a half cheese sandwiches.

Pazzo
269 Newbury Street
Boston, MA 02116 
(617) 267-2996

New York is well known for being the home of the greatest pizza in the world.  This is true to the point that many people actually believe pizza was invented in New York.  This is completely false, as pizza originated in Naples through many forms until it reached the form of the “tomato pie”, which was vastly improved with the addition of cheese around the late 19th century.  In the last 10-15 years, New York has become flush with Neopolitan pizzerias, serving simple fresh and light wood-fired pizzas.  Hakeem introduced me to Keste around three years ago, and it has been one of my favorite pizzas in New York (sorry Famous Rays).

On my last trip there, I went with Hakeem, Chamique, and two of their friends in the entertainment industry (nobody you would know, they’re both producers/behind the scenes people).  I decided to order the pizza Margherita, the pizza designed by baker Raffaelo Esposito for the visit of Queen Margherita of Savoy.  She was quite fond of his pizza reminiscent of the colours of the Italian flag (basil = green, cheese = white, tomatoes = red).  According to Neopolitans, there are only two real pizzas, pizza Margherita, and pizza marinara (tomato sauce and bread, no cheese).  Obviously, I always err on the side of pizza margherita.

My initial problems with Keste was that their base was not strong enough to support the heavy sauce and cheese, which is the same problem I always have when I try making pizza at home.  What many restaurants do is pre-cook the bread so that it is somewhat firm before having to soak up all the moisture from the tomatoes.  Keste doesn’t appear to do this, but they have improved the quality of the crust that it can support whatever toppings added. The ingredients are all fantastic - fresh basil, buffalo mozzarella, San Marzano tomatoes, and the very tasty crust.  The only complaint still would be the danger of weak pizza physics.

I swapped a slice with Hakeem’s friend who works at CBS (yes, that CBS).  He ordered the pizza funghi, unaware of the unorthodoxy of his order.  The mushrooms were pretty good, but not anything amazing.  As soon as I lifted the pizza, all the cheese, sauce and tomatoes came off.  So, pizza construction doesn’t hold up to anything much beyond just tomato and cheese.

Keste is one of my favorite high end pizzerias in New York.  While the pizza construction is not the greatest, it is a problem that I have experienced at almost every Neopolitan pizzeria.  At least Keste does not err on the side of overcooking the dough/burning the pizza, which is much worse than just having the toppings fall off.  So, go to Keste, but don’t get anything beyond the pizza Margherita, unless you like eating tomato-y bread and having a plate full of toppings.  Vegans can get the pizza marinara, but otherwise they don’t accommodate your inability to eat cheese.  At least you’re being authentic by eating the marinara!  For celiacs, there are three dedicated gluten-free pizzas which are only available on Monday and Tuesday.  I don’t know how they resolve the potential for gluten cross-contamination by using the same oven, so that would be a warning.  Overall, Keste is great, and does a pretty good job to cater to vegetarians and celiacs, so for that I’ll give them four cheese sandwiches.

Keste
271 Bleecker Street
New York, NY 10014-4102 
(212) 243-1500

You may remember our previous excursion to have a happy hour (read - excuse to leave work early) at McCormick and Schmick’s.  I was told that Rustic Kitchen also had a happy hour which was worth trying, so Kenny, Charles, Vernon and I decided to go check it out.

I expected a slightly higher class of happy hour at Rustic Kitchen compared to McCormick and Schmick’s, as Rustic Kitchen is a better restaurant.  I was very pleased to discover free freshly fried chips on the bar counter as soon as we arrived.  The chips were somewhat soggy (they had likely been there less than an hour based upon my inherent chip sogginess instinct), but still very delicious and, most importantly, free.

Charles recently converted to being a pescatarian, so he and I decided to share a few of the happy hour plates.  Unfortunately, there were only two vegetarian plates (the rest were neither vegetarian/pescatarian friendly), so we each ordered one.  Unlike the McCormick and Schmick’s $2-$3 appetizers, Rustic Kitchen’s happy hour dishes were $6 each, so you already start expecting a lot.  Charles ordered the arancini, rice balls filled with mozzarella cheese.  I never understood the fascination with arancini, and for me the rice balls were just too greasy, and the tomato sauce was not robust or tart enough to temper the fattiness of the arancini.

The cheese pizza was decent for the price, though if it were a few dollars cheaper, you’d really feel that the hour was happy.  There was nothing particularly special about the pizza, which makes me wonder just how good the $18 pizza actually is for dinner.

The Rustic Kitchen happy hour is pretty disappointing, not just on the minimal selection of vegetarian options (who’d have thought that a seafood place would be more vegetarian friendly?), but also because their happy hour appetizers are quite expensive.  At best, I’d say the food at Rustic Kitchen is pretty good, though they have limited vegetarian selection for happy hour (there is plenty of pasta and pizza options for dinner).  However, I would say the price is prohibitive for the quality of food that they serve.  So, for that, I can only give them three cheese sandwiches.

Rustic Kitchen
210 Stuart Street
Boston, MA 02116-5426 
(617) 423-5700